Labels are for Losers

I am 196 pounds, 14 stone, size 22. I have always been bullied my whole life for something that I have, fat. I get the dirty, disgusted, embarrassed, pitiful and amused looks, the awful sniggers, the purposely painful whispers that are loud enough for me to hear, and the and comments like, ‘ I’m glad I’m not her, or I think I would kill myself’. And I sometimes wonder how I am still here right now, living a life that’s not really worth living. Every day of going to school is like I am volunteering for torment and hostility just for the way I look. I can put make up on, do my hair nice, wear the trendiest clothes. But they never make a difference to how people truly see me. Unfortunately, the first thing people think when they see me is ‘Oh, she’s massive’. I am just the fat friend. But, I don’t have many friends because they all burn underneath the pressure, the stares that people give them since they’re hanging around ‘a girl like that’. They end up leaving me. No one cares that I have a personality, or that I am even a person. It wouldn’t matter that I’m smart, or talented or that I’m a kind person who has a big heart, even though it’s been harshly cracked along the way. All they see is a girl who is overweight, and they want nothing to do with her.

The truth is everyone has fat on their bodies, they need it. Having it doesn’t make you who you are. It doesn’t define who you’re going to be. It’s depressing that there are 171, 476 words in the English language but we all get labelled with only one of them. Whether it’s skinny, fat, ugly or dumb. I don’t get that. I never have and I shouldn’t have to either. And you know what, labels are for losers.

I used to hate my body. The stretch marks, the chubbiness, my thighs, the pimple scars, my nose shape, the whole package. So not only did I hate my body, but I hated my face. I was repulsed by every inch of what I saw in the mirror. So, I tried to hide my pain and sadness with makeup. Use that as a way of making myself feel secure, feel confident and good about myself. But it didn’t work. It just made me feel like I wasn’t good enough and that I would never be pretty because I was so reliant on it, I thought that it made me beautiful. My mum said I looked beautiful with or without it. But I didn’t believe her. I thought I needed it, I thought it would solve my body weight issues. It did nothing. Makeup wouldn’t solve my problems because I had to. I had to be confident in how I looked, I had to stand up for myself and not just pretend like there was nothing wrong, or that people weren’t saying trash about me. I had to stop being a lemon and get off my butt and do something about my problems, or I’d be a miserable wreck my entire life. And that is not a good look, if I may say so myself. The most important thing is that I needed to change my mentality.

I had to tell myself that you don’t have to be thin or slim to be healthy and fit. You can be even healthier than someone who is thinner than you. I had to remember that. I had to remember that a bright personality outshines the way you look and that you should be proud of whatever you look like, and you feel you’re best when you are your healthiest. It’s a little over said but I can tell you it is a verifiable claim that you need to carry with you for the rest of your life. Because if you don’t feel good in your body, you won’t be fully happy. And I know it isn’t easy and it takes time. But once you get there, you’ll be glad that you made a change to the way you think. You will realise that you are valued and that you are perfectly made whether you have a disability, deformity, a scar or a unique feature. Your life is completely worth living and it gets better and better as time goes on. So don’t give up hope or give up strength whatever the task you have to face is. You’ll make it, I believe in you.